Pregnant without a due date

"I've heard of unplanned pregnancies, but I have never heard of unplanned adoptions."

~Max Lucado

As Lucado's quote suggests, there is SO much planning that goes into adoption. Since I have had several people ask me about making an adoption plan, I decided to post about what Seth and I have been through so far. I have to warn you ahead of time that with all we have been through, this likely won't be a short post. But, I will try to keep it as brief as possible.:-)

Paperwork:

In December, Seth and I finally decided on an adoption agency to work through. After looking through two local agencies and finding that we would likely have to wait years for a baby, we decided to broaden our search and found Caring for Kids, Inc. in Munroe Falls. (Thanks again Shelly for the recommendation!:-)) After contacting the agency, we received and filled out some initial paper work. Then, we received a BIG packet of paperwork along with a checklist of things that we needed to complete. Several things we needed to complete included proof that we have lived in Ohio five years, financial statements, physicals, fingerprinting, a fire inspection, an evacuation plan, a vet visit for the cats, etc., etc., etc.! Even with me working on the checklist daily, it took until about the end of February to complete it!

Homestudy:

In February, we were contacted by our social worker and set up two times to meet with her. In preparation for our meeting, we had 15 questions to answer. Then, in our first meeting, we discussed those questions. During the second meeting, we were each interviewed separately and had a "safety audit" of our house. (Yes, our house is already child proof!) This was not nearly as awful as I imagined it would be. God blessed us with an incredible social worker who we felt comfortable sharing our life stories with. This was a good thing since she now probably knows more about us than we know about ourselves!:-) Along with sharing our life stories, we had to discuss the following: our medical history, our hobbies, our relationships with family and friends, experiences that contributed to our emotional growth and maturity, our religious practices, our educational background and work history, the type of home environment we can provide for a child, our methods of discipline, and our greatest strengths and weaknesses as a future parent.

The checklist:

This six page checklist was the HARDEST thing I have ever filled out. Basically, the checklist establishes the boundaries around what child we will and will not accept (ugh, it still sounds awful to say that...!). The list included every possible scenario along with mental and physical illnesses/issues. As Laura Christianson states in her book, The Adoption Decision (a must read for anyone considering adoption!), this checklist took some "brutally honest soul-searching and intense prayer." After several days of this soul-searching, crying (on my part...Seth doesn't cry:-)), and what seemed like endless prayer, Seth and I finally filled out the checklist. We were ultimately as open as possible while still keeping in mind the fact that we both need to continue working after our adoption.

Pre-adoption Training:

In March, we completed our pre-adoption training in Akron. The training involved 12 hours filled with lots of info. about children, adoption issues, etc. The highlight of the weekend was meeting several other couples who are also adopting. It was so nice to find out that we weren't alone in this crazy, incredible process! One of the couples actually live in Wooster and they have already been such a Godsend.

Birthparent letter/Profile book:

The final step of our process was to write a birthparent letter and complete a picture profile book. (When a birthmother contacts the agency, she is given several letters and profiles to go through.) Knowing that the birthmother's decision was initially based on these two items put an incredible amount of stress on me. How in the world were we supposed to present an accurate picture of who we are in one letter and fourteen pages of pictures? It was definitely quite a task, but I finally found peace in knowing that regardless of what we put in them, God will still match us with the mother and child He has in mind for us. About a month ago, we found out that all of our hard work had paid off and we were officially licensed to adopt. Now, as I have mentioned in my previous posts, we wait to be picked.:-)

Thanks to those of you who actually made it through this insanely long post! If anyone is interested in learning more about anything that I mentioned, please feel free to e-mail me. To close, I want to share something else from Christianson's book that I found matches perfectly with our experiences:

"The Creator of families is present to encourage us during every step of parenting. One mom told me, 'When you start the adoption process, you don't even know what you don't even know.' Adoption looks pretty easy when you're watching from the sidelines. Then, like a youngster learning to skate, you take those first tentative steps onto the ice. You fall. You haul yourself up, check for bruises, and try again, becoming more bold with every step. Suddenly you discover you're gliding...and spinning...and jumping...and crashing. But, you keep training. And, as you do, you discover adoption simultaneously surprises, challenges, and delights. As you suit up for adoptive parenthood, stride onto the ice with confidence. God, your partner, is ready to balance, support, and guide you. He's reaching out for you. Will you grab His hand?"