A "Real" Mom

In our three short months with Brayden, we have had some crazy questions and comments. My personal favorite was when a lady asked me, "where did you get one like that?" Even though I wanted to be sarcastic and say something like, "at K-mart, he was a blue light special," I resisted. Instead, I just smiled and told her that we had adopted him. The comment that has impacted me the most, though, was when I was told that I was not a "real" mom. In his eyes, the boy who made this comment just didn't believe that anyone could be a "real" mom without actually getting pregnant and having a baby. Instead, he told me that I was more like a step-mom or a long-term baby-sitter. (I should note that this comment came from a 13 year old boy, who in no way meant to hurt me and I do not hold this against him! He simply doesn't fully understand adoption.) After initially shrugging the comment off, the conversation came back to me and brought with it a mix of emotions. I, of course, know that I am a "real" mom, but was faced again with the reality that Brayden really has two moms. I have always said and firmly believe that Brayden has room in his heart to love more than one mom, but this comment made me realize that I hadn't made peace with that fact yet. Even though, Mommy T is such an incredible person who loves Brayden and I am so thankful that she wants to be a part of his life, I have to admit that this comment left me struggling with the selfish want to be his only mom. This selfishness really made me quite mad at myself, especially since Brayden isn't really "mine" anyway. After a few days, I finally decided to take all of this to God (why does it always take me so long??) and as He always does, He led me to something that brought me peace. The poem is called, "Legacy of an Adopted Child."



Once there were two women

who didn't know each other.

One you do not remember.

The other, you call mother.



Two different lives shaped your one.

One became your guiding star.

The other became your sun.



The first gave you life,

and the second taught you to live in it.

The first gave you the need for love,

and the second was there to give it.



One gave you a nationality.

The other gave you a name.

One gave you the seed of talent.

The other gave you an aim.



One gave you emotions.

The other calmed your fears.

One saw your first sweet smile.

The other dried your tears.



One gave you up-it was all that she could do.

The other prayed for a child,

and God led her straight to you.



And now you ask me through your tears,

the age-old question through the years:

Heredity or environment-which are you the product of?

Neither, my Darling, neither.

Just two different kinds of love!



~Author Unknown



After reading his poem, I was once again thankful for Mommy T. God used the poem to remind me that without her, I wouldn't even have a son. Through God's leading, her love and unselfishness brought Brayden into our lives. Really, it is the least that we can do to share our little boy with the one who brought him into this world! No, we are not a typical family and I am not a typical mom. But, now I can say in all honesty that I really wouldn't want it any other way!

Brayden with Mommy T at the hospital.

May 29, 2009